PlattForm just acquired a new company into their fold and I, for one, could not be more thrilled. The new kid on our block is BeautySchoolsDirectory.com … which handles recruitment and lead generation for the cosmetology industry.

The nanosecond we got the news … my mind feverishly started coming up with catchy slogans and even catchier catch-phrases! “Career makeovers … one student a time.” “And while you look mah-velous, your future looks even better!” “Your skills are now a cut above the rest!” “You go, girl! To Cosmetology College, that is!”

It’s a wonder I didn’t have a stroke.

I’ve spent the past two weeks shooting video in every upscale beauty academy or cosmetology school from here to Paris (uh, Kansas, that is.) And while my flair for fab-u-lous-ness has never been higher, my ego has never been lower.

In every salon I stumble in to, I’m instantly scrutinized by 30+ rabid students who look at me like a fresh piece of meat. To date, I’ve had offers to wax my eyebrows AND my back. I’ve had offers to frost my hair, shave off my hair … or my personal favorite, shave off my hair and then frost the remaining stubble. Who am I? Billy Idol?

Yesterday, I went out of my way to compliment a student’s new purple-icious Mohawk. She looked at me incredulously like only a purple haired mohawked student can and shot back, “It’s EGGPLANT!”

Yesterday, I had a facial and was aghast to hear I have pores big enough to fall in to. Today, I had a pedicure and found out I have excessively brittle toenails. Tomorrow I’m having my ears waxed. Don’t ask.

Professionally, I think the acquisition of BeautySchoolsDirectory.com is SHEAR (get it?) genius! It’s phenomenal for both companies! We’re beautifying two birds with one stone. Personally, though, I don’t think I can work on this campaign much past its inception. It takes up a lot of my time and, frankly, I’ve had to get a part-time job to maintain my Fabio hair-extensions.