Every week, I try to pick a word I don’t normally use and add it to my daily vernacular. Last week, for instance, my word was “rife”. I peppered it in to nearly every sentence I said. Heck, I even used it in my blog. My vocabulary had become rife with the word rife. Oddly, no one ever notices my word of the week … and that’s despite the fact I use it ad nauseaum.

I suppose if I used a word like “Farfegnughen” it would stand out more. Four syllables versus just one. Hmmm, maybe my co-workers are just blatantly dismissing me … even though they all look mildly interested in what I’m saying.

This week I’ve used the word “glean” to excess. And, once again, no one has made mention of it. Frankly, the whole thing is starting to annoy me … if you hadn’t already gleaned that. What do I have to do around here to get my self-appointed word of the week out to the masses? Yell it?

I’m notorious for whistling, humming and singing songs under my breath. Inevitably, someone within earshot will be whistling, humming or singing that same tune within two minutes. It’s called an Ear Worm … and it can cause sheer madness. I like it because it’s simultaneously infuriating and whimsical. If given the opportunity, I could have the whole place chanting “Y-M-C-A” by my use of subliminal Ear Worming.

I have no such luck, however, with my word of the week. Oh sure, I can have the oh-so hyper-masculine company president singing “Fly, Robin, Fly” under his breath in two seconds. But try to get him to use the word “rife” in a sentence? Forget it.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, though. I’m actually considering handing him a green banana and a yellow banana … and asking him to describe them. Inevitably, he’ll say one is “ripe” … which, in my book, is close enough to “rife”. Thus, I win.

Next week’s word, you ask? It’s “pedestrian”. As in … could my pedestrian co-workers be any more pedestrian when it comes to using my lexicon of love?

And, for the love of God, stop singing “YMCA”, will ya’? You’re driving me nuts.