Because I have connections and I am, after all, me … I can occasionally score free movie passes for the masses here at PlattForm. It makes me appear more important than I really am.

And let me tell you … PlattFormers love their free stuff. Doesn’t matter what it is or where it came from … as long as it doesn’t cost them a dime, they’re IN! There is nary one candy jar in this building with any chocolate in it – despite repeated attempts to replenish. If anyone brings in donuts – God help them. I’ve literally seen fights break out over who gets the last Krispy Kreme. Behold the power of powdered sugar.

Think I’m kidding?

Last week some PlattFormers were lucky enough to score a complimentary KC Chiefs’ Cheerleader calendar. And by lucky, I mean, they weren’t trampled to death in the melee at the front desk.

Every Friday during the summer, PlattForm generously provides lunch for everyone. Sometimes a taco bar. Sometimes BBQ. You’d think they were giving away an IPhone. PFormers start lining up around 7:15am until the CEO yells for everyone to get back to work.

Why are we like this? Because around here … it’s survival of the thriftiest.

True story … the soda machine here at PlattForm occasionally spits out two Diet Cokes. PFormers will actually hover around said machine anticipating hitting the jackpot. People who despise diet pop will break down and purchase a Diet Coke if the odds are good. You can actually hear the squeals of joy and glee throughout the building when the Coke Machine Gods are feeling generous.

Now, if you really want to score the good stuff – head to the basement. Downstairs, the peeps in the Media department apparently have the power over time and space. Their shrine of free stuff goes on ad nauseum. A limited 1st edition framed Grey’s Anatomy poster? Late Show with David Letter tix? Backstage passes to WWE’s Smackdown? Trips to Hawaii? Whatever you want … whatever your little heart desires … Media can get it for you in 3-5 business days. But that means you have to deal with the seedy underbelly of the Media Department. No good can come of that. The sign above their office says it all, “If you have to ask, you probably can’t afford it.”

The sign above my desk? “Ask and ye shall receive.” Which reminds me … who wants passes to the premiere of the new Transformers movie?