Besides being a phenomenal Writer/Director here at PlattForm, I’m also a certified (and certifiable) fitness instructor and personal trainer on the side. It’s a commonly known fact because 1) I tell everyone and 2) I cajole a lot of my co-workers to take my classes.

(Suckers.)

Now it’s worth mentioning that people always say the same thing when I mention the fitness thing. They tend to blurt out (always with the same incredulous look on their face), “You’re a fitness instructor??!!” That comment tends to be followed up with three nonchalant blinks and a mouth agape.

I don’t necessarily fit the stereotype of a gym bunny. (Read that: I’m not crazy hella- buff.) Or as my mom often points out, “Your weight fluctuates more than Oprah.” Thanks, Mom.

Typically, I could care less about my weight. I am forever shedding/gaining 10lbs. Sometimes less, sometimes more. My motto: as long as I can still whoop asses in my classes … I’m good to go. That is … until I realized my high school reunion was a month away.

Lord.

These are people I haven’t seen in 10-15 years … and yet they are driving me to having my jaws wired shut next week. I am fully determined to drop some major L-B’s before my reunion. And I’ve heard from a lot of people with a lot of suggestions on how to do it.

Many of my co-workers are on the “Eat What You Can Afford” plan. Maybe I should try that. Others jokingly suggested using Meth. Don’t think I haven’t thought about it … the weight loss is dramatic! So is the hair loss and tooth loss.

But I think I’ll stick to what I know … eat less and exercise more. Two things I loathe in life. My nutritionist pointed out that D-I-E-T is a four letter word. I informed her the first three letters are D-I-E. She finds no humor in that. Probably because she hasn’t eaten a carbohydrate in four years.

Come hell or high water, I am going to be thin(ner) and pretty(ier) for my reunion than ever before. Note the look of determination on my face! Well, there would be a look of determination if my face weren’t recently injected with Botox for said reunion. It would probably be in everyone’s best interest to stay away from me for the next month or so … because things could get ugly. Why? When it comes to losing weight, willpower is half the battle. Liposuction is the other half.