by Ryan McBee

For those of you who are not in the know, the Proofers are now known exclusively as The ProoFTrooP. The ProoFTrooP was born out of the depths of the grammatical core. Arranged by the mysterious forces of Stet and Syntax, and formed over millions of years of intense heating and cooling, we have risen up from the bowels of the earth to establish a sense of order in an otherwise chaotic PlattForm world.

The haunting of the ghost Aunt Jemima was noted by the ProoFTrooP several months back when we first caught “wind” of her. The ghost of Aunt Jemima operates in a very peculiar manner. Her presence is not so much felt as it is smelt – around and within the ProoFTrooP headquarters. Intelligence reports and various covert operations organized by the ProoFTrooP have revealed many disturbing details about this sticky soul.

She sweeps the halls of PlattForm with no sense of control or regard for her pungent odor and its effects, and the ProoFTrooP continue to battle against her attempts to distract PlattFormers from their work – putting thoughts of IHOP and other maple-oriented activities into our collective head. But we march onward into the piles of content and client revisions, even as she attempts to make our arms stick to dockets and sends breakfast-filled gusts of her sweet-scented haunting … anything to keep us from our work. Even the Ghost Hunters won’t touch this one … its too sticky.

The latest field reports indicate that Jemima is no longer contained exclusively by syrupy smells. On July 12, there were several reports of her haunting the QA/PR/BI hallway with the sizzlin’ smell of fake bacon (facon), and there are rumors that she has had a history of such transformations into other breakfast-oriented aromas.

However, On Friday the 13th, Jemima took the all-too-obvious opportunity to make a quantum leap into an overwhelmingly onion realm. This was a signal that Jemima is becoming more aggressive (and a bit cliché), and that her hijinks can no longer be tolerated. The ProoFTrooP is currently coordinating with BI to remove her, once and for all.