September 2008

Greetings blog readers! I had a revelation last week. I know everything! Just kidding. I did come to the realization there are a lot of good questions floating around PlattForm, and we have no one assigned to answer them! Therefore, I have decided to become our resident answer person. I will be like Dear Abby, but with fantastic hair. If you have questions, no matter how big or small, bring ‘em on!

Q: Dear Kody: If Justin Gill and Brent Gill were to fight, who would win?

A: Excellent question! I took a scientific poll of PlattFormers (aka: asked Jeremy Schoen) and the general consensus was that Justin would come out victorious. It was a very tough decision. On most accounts it was a draw, but there were a few distinguishing qualities that would put Justin on top. Here’s how the fight would go down:

Both would enter the match, armed with Blackberries in hand, and completely ignore the other to answer emails and check campaign caps. About 15 minutes into the match, they would notice each others presence. Brent throws a couple of open handed slaps. Justin throws out his superior vernacular ability to confuse Brent, who is momentarily distracted. Justin kicks the Blackberry out of Brent’s hand, and in a moment of sheer terror, Brent forgoes the fight to save the Blackberry. Justin sees this as a moment of opportunity and tackles Brent, throwing in a few cheap shots on the way down, thus winning the fight.

Q: Dear Kody: Is the Universe still expanding? If so, into what?

A: The Universe stopped expanding about a year ago when it couldn’t find pants that would fit, and called Jenny Craig.

Little known fact: “Corroboree” is a term coined by Australian Aborigines that means “nocturnal festival”. And, conveniently, it also happens to be a rockin’ party held at the Kansas City Zoo each year by PForm’s charity of choice, SAVE Inc.

SAVE Inc. is Kansas City’s oldest provider of housing assistance to individuals and families who are living with HIV/AIDS. SAVE Inc. helps over 600 individuals and families every single month. Plus, the organization spends nearly $300,000 every month in rental assistance to maintain its nine residential properties. When you’re living with HIV/AIDS, housing is a matter of life and death.

In this depressed economy, it’s refreshing to see people get together for a good cause and help raise much-needed funds for a worthy charity. And who doesn’t like great parties with Australian themes? Throw another shrimp on the barbie! And OMG – is that ONJ?

2008 marks the fifteenth year of this vibrant event — which began as a mere gleam in the eyes of a few friends back in 1994. Back in ’94, Lion King was #1 at the Box Office, and Ace of Base “The Sign” topped the Billboard Hot 100, Oprah was in a thin-phase, and a DEMOCRAT was President … less I digress.

Every year Corroboree gets bigger, wackier and zanier … and this year was no exception. From the minute you set foot on the Zoo Tram, the party is in full swing. I should know … I was the Tram Host. Best of all, SAVE graciously handpicked PlattForm to volunteer at the event … and, once again, PFormers turned out in droves to help ensure fun and merriment for all.

I’ve got two Japanese Koi at work … Shillelagh and Shenanigan. Okay, Irish-Japanese Koi. I’ve become very attached to them since rescuing them from a nearly frozen pond at my ex’s house.

One has a gimp fin on his right side and constantly swims in circles. The other is – shall we say – ignorant. (I think he’s mildly touched in the head … but he probably doesn’t know any better.)

Those fish have been through a lot including an algae bloom in their tank and a very traumatic move to the new building. They’ve survived firings, hirings and countless interns. I say, “Good Morning” to them every morning. Heck, I don’t even say, “Hello” to my officemate Tiffany when she stumbles in.

I could watch them for hours on end. Come to think of it, it’s really a wonder I get anything accomplished. In fact, I even missed the deadline on this blog because I was so entranced watching them redecorate their tank. They are constantly moving stuff around. I think they’re trying to make it Feng-Shui friendly.

When kids trick or treat at the office during Halloween, the fish are subject to tons of grubby fingers tapping on the glass. I try to warn them ahead of time, but they never listen. You’d think they’d hide behind the skeleton in the tank … but NOOOO … they act like crazy celebs who enjoy being hounded by paparazzi – uh, disguised as four year olds.

I don’t know what the lifespan is of Irish-Japanese Koi … but I hope they are around for a long time. I’ve gotten used to them. And them me. And, boy, have they gotten big. One actually got stuck in the faux flora/fauna tucked daintily in the corner of the tank. I was embarrassed for him. I put a teeny little sticker on the glass with the number to Jenny Craig. Let’s hope he makes the call … with his good fin.

So here’s to you Shillelagh and Shenanigan – you guys brighten my day every morning. And you provide countless hours of amusement when I should be meeting blog deadlines.
I would have offered to take you to lunch today … but we went for sushi. It seemed wrong on a number of levels.

What exactly does one think of when discussing out of the box advertising? Perhaps its the recent anti-smoking commercials where song, dance, and mythical cartoon animals are used to help spread a message. Or, it could possibly be talking urinal cake advertising (don’t believe me? check out - http://www.wizmark.com/). Maybe its even the little messages that you can find on Taco Bell sauce packets - “At night the sporks pick on me” or “You had me at Taco”. And, I guess I should at least mention rickshaw advertising.

While these are all pretty out of the box ideas for getting attention, it is important to remember that when it comes to advertising for our clients, the OOTB ideas don’t always have to be flashy. Sometimes its best to use the simplest of ideas to help mine leads for our clientele. For instance, one could look into designing a print ad with the same look and feel that you might find on a movie poster, and run it in the FYI/Movies section of the major daily for any given market.

A really effective way to find some of these “hidden” OOTB opportunities is to ask the vendors you work with if there is something available that isn’t the norm, and could possibly be used as added value. You never know what you may find, be it banner ads on the publication’s seasonal Fantasy Football website, or perhaps some sort of grassroots style mention on flyers for an upcoming concert - even at the concert.

Its amazing what even the smallest of these ideas can do. Keep in mind that running :60 spots during daytime rotators on TV was considered out of the box at some point, and this has been a very effective lead generator in several of the markets we work in across the nation.

I know that I have written this speaking mainly to the media placement side of things, but I hope that any non-media peeps still reading this far have taken away at least one thing from my little rant - and really, you should check out the talking urinal cakes. “Stop peeing your life away, call the Career University Training Academy. Classes starting now!”

What the world needs now … is Programmers, Sweet Programmers.

Every once and awhile, HR will send out an e-mail marked URGENT! Of course, if it’s marked URGENT (and includes one of those oh-so important e-mail flags), it makes me sit up and take notice.

That is — until the URGENT e-mails became non-events. “KAT HAD HER BABY!” screamed one urgent e-mail. Congrats, Kat. But, really, was it a big surprise? I mean … was it worthy of a red flag? Doubtful. Although towards the end I did wonder if Kat was having a boy or a girl … or a Honda.

Last week HR stepped it up a notch or two. Not only did they send out an URGENT e-mail – they wrote in a colorful array of colors and fonts.

According to last week’s e-mail, there are apparently 3,912 openings for programmers around the walls of PlattForm. I’m not even sure what programmers do (uh, programming?), but if you’re a programmer and looking for a job — click here michaelm@plattformad.com and send me your resumé.

Apparently, we URGENTLY need you.

Lots of folks read this blog … it’s surprising, really. So I figure I might as well use it for powers of good.

I’m sure HR will thank me eventually for spreading the word about our overwhelming need to hire programmers. And eventually, I’ll find out what exactly it is programmers do. They seem like a polite bunch. They keep to themselves and often speak in a language that sounds vaguely like English – but it’s all foreign to me. C++? Dot net? ASP? Code? (Yes, sounds like code to me.)

Allegedly, demand is so high around here, they’re actually thinking of (GASP!) hiring headhunters. They don’t need headhunters. Duh. They just need me to write about it in my blog. That gets the word out faster than Ma Bell.

Again … if you’re a programmer … send your resumé my way. Immediately. That’s michaelm@plattformad.com. When you get the job … you can take me to lunch. You’ll owe me. And like HR, you can thank me later.